The Story of Eren Jeager's Death (Extreme Parody)
by Wingedia
Summary: As we all know, Eren Jeager is always angry at something, anything! But could this lead to potential health issues? How will Mikasa act? Will Levi smile for once? Will Armin get together with Annie? (PARODY! XD NOTHING like the book/anime AT ALL!) Written by me and a friend


This is the story of Eren Jaeger. He has lived inside 50 m walls all his life, and when he was 10, watched his mother be eaten. Of course, everyone reading this would know that because of the category. Anywho, he turned out to be able to turn into a titan, the species that ate his mom. Blah, blah, blah... military training. Skip... being beat up in

court by Levi. Further... tries to pick up a spoon, turns into a titan. Not quite. Go near the end. Here we are! The end of his adventures.

As we all know, Eren was an angry 15-year old boy. We had assumed he would go out fighting or die from old age. However, according to my records, it was neither. Here's how the story goes. It was a normal day in the survey Corps, deaths all around. But one thing wasn't normal... Eren seemed to be in pain and Mikasa wasn't doing anything! Just kidding. Eren had a severe headache, was having vision problems. and a chest pain. Of course, that was when Hanji showed up, with a crazy smile on her face. "What's wrong, Eren?" she asked. "Never mind. Let me check your heartbeat." She pulled a stethoscope out of nowhere and held it to Eren's chest. "Hmm, that's odd," Hanji said. "What?" said Armin, appearing from around a corner. Hanji replied, "His heartbeat appears to be irregular,. He probably shouldn't go out." Of course, Eren freaked out because he wouldn't be able to kill any titans that way.

Levi came in with cleaning supplies and shoved them at Eren. "If you're staying behind, you can clean up, brat." Then the team left to go outside the walls.

Left alone, Eren started ranting to himself. "Clean up, brat. You can't leave. 's so annoying!" His face started to turn tomato red and his limbs shook with anger. Accidentally, he cut his hand on a broken piece of the mop.

With the intent to attack something, Eren changed into his titan form. His head burst through the ceiling. Eren ran around destroying the Survey Corp castle.

After he was done, he looked around and realized there was nothing to crush. Suddenly, Jean majestically galloped out from the forest. He reared up and gracefully shook his head, letting his mane flow in the breeze. He whined and cantered around Eren. At least, that was what Eren saw.

Eren frantically shook his head and Jean turned into a normal human. _Stupid horseface_, Eren thought as he tried to crush Jean. He dodged Eren's foot, but just barely. "Stupid hypocrite!" Jean yelled up at Eren. "I thought you wanted to kill titans! Not your own kind!" he screamed. "Unless you're a titan, then of course it's alright if you killed me!" Jean kept shouting at Eren and spread his arms out. "Come at me bro!" Enraged, Eren let out a loud scream.

He then proceeded to explode into little bits and pieces all over Jean. Disgusted, Jean walked towards where Eren's titan body had been. _Will there be anything there?_ he wondered. "Eren? Are you there?" Jean asked. He slowly tiptoed closer. "Hello? If you're dead, everyone, especially Mikasa, is going to kill me."

Eren came running out to the smoke, yelling at the top of his lungs. "I'm going to kill you, Jean!" Jean sidestepped the attack and Eren kept running. He tripped over a rock and slid into a tree "Ow," he muttered.

Mikasa then came down from a nearby tree and ran up to Eren. "Eren, are you okay? Should I get Hanji?" "How are you guys even here? I thought you were on a scouting mission," Eren asked. "Eren, it's been hours. We came back," Mikasa replied.

"Oh, okay." Then Eren fainted. "Eren! Eren! EREN!" Mikasa shouted at his still form, shaking him. After realizing he just fainted, she picked him up with ease and carried him towards the remains of the castle. Eren's shin had been slightly scraped, but was still bleeding. As Mikasa carried him and laid him down on a cape, some blood dripped down from Eren's shin. When Levi saw this, he freaked out and got the remaining cleaning supplies he had, as Eren had destroyed everything else.

Since Mikasa wouldn't let anyone move Eren, Levi tried to clean the stain with Eren on the cape. Once he got the blood out, he walked away, allowing everyone else to come over to Eren. then, they started to fuss over him. "Are you okay?" "What happened?" "Hey, are you deaf?" "Did you faint?" Everyone around Eren bombarded him with questions. "Hey guys," Armin said. "I think he is still out cold." He poked Eren. He didn't move. "Yeah, he's definitely out cold." Armin fabulously flipped his luscious blonde hair out of his eyes as he walked away towards Annie. "Hi, how are you?" Armin asked. "Fine," Annie said as she walked towards another part of the rubble.

Suddenly, Jean ran over. "Is he dead?" He sprinted towards Eren. "Please tell me he's dead." He muttered, "Otherwise he's gonna kill me." Mikasa screeched at him in anger, grabbed Jean's arm, and flipped him over her shoulder. He stared at her in awe, mid flight to the ground. Jean laughed crazily as he fell down, knocked out. Mikasa then wiped her hands on Jean's jacket and moved to stand next to Armin.

After seeing Jean being beat up, Armin's eyes went wide and slowly scooted closer to Annie. "Help me," he whispered in her ear. "Alright," she sighed, "Let's go this way." They walked off.

Levi walked over and leaned down to Eren's ear. "ARE YOU OKAY?!" he screamed. Mikasa kicked his face into the mud. "No one touches Eren," she whispered. Everyone stepped back in fear. "My face!" Levi screeched. "It's dirty!" He clutched his face and ran around in circles frantically. He hit a tree and fell down. Rubbing his head, Levi said, "Stupid big donkey trees." He got up and sulked back to the group, trying to scrape all the now-dried mud off his face while quietly whining. Eren sprang up suddenly. "I'LL KILL THEM ALL!" As he was screaming, a fly flew into his mouth. He started choking and held his neck. He fell over, clawing at his throat. Mikasa and Levi had started quarreling and were too busy fighting to notice. Eren fell over, passed out, and quickly died.

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**


End file.
